Fatigue

I like taking those slightly psychedelic pictures with all these odd reflections and stuff. I don't know all that photographer jargon seeing as every picture I take is a product of randomness. Like this, taken of a window inside the metro.
I don't know why public transport remains one of my favourite ways of getting somewhere. It's comforting in a way to observe people in their everyday lives, tired, energized, old, young. Like this guy who sat with a baby on his lap. I didn't think to get a picture because that'd be a bit rude under the circumstances, but that happy child cheered me up.

Aren't our minds busy all the time? Real happiness seems a fleeting thing to a lot of people. It's an uncertain age to live in, new scientific breakthroughs lurking around every corner, feeding us with information about the latest fatality rates. I don't know why I keep getting this recurring image of a man inside a bar, smoking his last cigarette and having a drink with Death. Maybe because I'm on occasion a melancholy bastard whose outlook on life is sometimes bleak at best.
Political apathy becomes the way to go for a lot of people because politics in general seem less about ideals now than about personalities and power for its own sake. It fills people like me with a strange sense of admiration when I witness someone who is willing to work hard to support an ideology. And that's how it often starts... Then they get older, or they get elected. They sell out or they buy new ideological paradigms at a second-hand store. Though in those cases where ideology survives, even if I don't necessarily agree with a certain point of view, I can at least respect it. Of course, an age of uncertainty and sudden changes needs a sense of pragmatism. Sometimes one wishes that we wouldn't get cynicism instead.

I think one of the reasons fantasy literature, to me at least, is more appealing, is that I hear about our world all the time in the news. But then I end up reading something post-apocalyptic and I'm back to square one.

But there's light at the end of the tunnel, even in the Danish subway where aggressive automated doors will kill you if your reflexes aren't good enough.

Intarwebz debate nightmares

Debate forums, Facebook discussions, passionate rambling and contradictions, facing me when I casually do my every day browsing of various online networks. No matter what forum you go to (provided it has been going for a while), it seems there's always that random guy whose 4,000 posts haven't gotten any more sensible or relevant with all the practice he's had.
There are people out there playing World of Warcraft or other online games, living for the majority of their spare time in that alternate world, and then there are the people who live on various forums, never exhausting their desire to voice their opinions about pretty much any topic that comes up. To a lot of people it's probably just a pasttime that they enjoy, but to others I suspect it's because they simply have no other place where people actually want to listen to their fucked up ideas and self-promoting pseudo wisdom. Don't get me wrong. Ideas, theories and opinions are important tools to inspire others, but the typical I've figured it all out and you must all start worshipping me attitude seems to pop up everywhere, and people seem to read the shit and take the time to conceive a coherent response. I'd rather just ignore people who get that sort of idea since in their wisdom I doubt they need my feedback, and if a lack of any response makes their ego bleed a little, it's absolutely worth it.

Justice is gone

There's no justice in the world when The Machinist is cheaper than any awful movie made by Jean-Claude Van Damme or Chuck Norris. What a cruel and bleak world we live in.
Soon they'll probably start tossing The Prestige or City of God at people for free while The Patriot by Steven Seagal costs a fragment of your soul (not the other fragment you'll lose watching it)

Morning

Something I've been wondering about for a while is sleep. We all know I'm not the only person at my age who doesn't sleep enough, and for some reason it's a bad habit that is impossible to shake off.

I remember reading about an experiment where they took a comedian and locked him inside a room, and whenever he was trying to sleep they made sure he couldn't. Mind you, the man had volunteered for it. I can't remember the exact amount of time they kept him awake, but it was... long. The end result was, when they finally let him out of the room, long-deprived of sleep, they could observe drastic changes in his personality. The fact that his mind had had no time to rest - I can't say how it actually affected his brain tissue, I'm no doctor - apparently made this otherwise jolly guy not so jolly at all. In fact his sense of humour was almost gone, and while I haven't heard whether or not the damage was permanent, it lasted for at least a rather long while.
Now, dramatic examples aside, I just wonder how we're all affected in a minor way if day after day we get much less sleep than we're supposed to. How it might give us less energy to cope with whatever each day brings. I know that some people have less need of sleep than others, but all around, it's not a terribly healthy business for those of us who do.

And most of us know it, but aren't doing anything about it. And when I think of how much people at my age or thereabout sometimes drink each week alcohol-wise, I'm wondering that if we don't invent some kind of miraculous life-extender, we'll see a drop in the lifespan of my generation.

Personally I just hope I'll never suffer from clinical insomnia. That's one of the things I fear most.

I think it's moving

You can see it move, and your eyes want to follow it. Sometimes it slips out of sight even in the middle of the day. You wonder how it could hide while you find yourself wanting to touch it.
It's not really that you know its actual shape the way it blends with the light surrounding it, but if you could touch it, you'd know. Every little curve, every detail of its surface, and you'd smile to yourself in new-found knowledge... perhaps.

Thinking and trying to feel one of those answers that the mind knows are obvious. A series of words that can be repeated forever without the mind grasping what they are trying to tell. Because they have roots in a choice which has been made; one beyond comprehension, even with knowledge that making any alternate choice would have caused the same degree of regret. Can't go anywhere without not going somewhere else. There'll always be that missed aspect.

Even now, eluding all senses. But there is the hope that tomorrow might offer some clarity.